APHORISM:

A SHORT, POINTED SENTENCE EXPRESSING A WISE OR CLEVER > OBSERVATION OR A GENERAL TRUTH.

1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.

2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his > tail.

3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense > at all.

4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.

5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.

6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark > to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many > people a company can operate without.

8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else > looks?

9. Scratch a cat and you will have a permanent job.

10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.

11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.

12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 > AM. - Like this: It could be a right number.

13. No one ever says 'It's only a game.' when their team is winning.

14. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.

15. Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like > it.

16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size > bucket.

17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old > ladies running around with tattoos? And rap music will be the Golden > Oldies!

18. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry > in a Corvette than in a Yugo.

19. After 60, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably > dead!

Always be yourself. Because the people that matter, don't mind. And the > one's that mind, don't matter.

Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.